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Last Update: 03.08.07

Ann Coulter angers Jesus, Fags

John Edwards (alleged faggot)

Ann Coulter recently started a media firestorm when she publicly referred to John Edwards as a "faggot." Edwards is a politician and former US senator best known for completely failing to impact the 2004 presidential race, in which his hopes and dreams were shattered by the weight of reality.

Ann Coulter has long been known for making outrageous, inflammatory remarks like "I'm not a big fan of the First Amendment," "News magazines don't kill people, Muslims do," or "I think I'm kind of pretty." Her latest remarks seem to have people a lot angrier than usual, probably because nothing helps dispel the alleged liberal media bias like driving a right-wing pundit into the ground.

After crying into his pillow for a while, Edwards issued several responses to the media. One was a clear denial of faggothood (since gay people never get re-elected) in which he maintains that he remains happily married with his lovely wife Ron. He also issued a statement that "Jesus would be appalled [at Coulter's statements]."

"Yeah, sorry, I don't think Jesus listens to the prayers of [homosexuals]," Coulter told Fox News (since those fags at the New York Times wouldn't return her calls). Jesus could not be reached for comment, but a local spokesman for Jesus indicated that Jesus maintains his firm stance against sin and especially birth control.

Ann Coulter is a best-selling author and nationally syndicated columnist. She was born on December 8, 1961, and has not yet been assassinated.