Last Update: 12.14.07

We recently discovered that a lot of people were visiting our webpage and were suddenly so dazed by the amount of awesomeness surrounding them that they locked up and didn't know what to do. To make our webpage more hospitable towards morons like that, we decided to create this page to help coach people on easing themselves into trainsaw fanaticism. However, we don't want to be too hospitable, so here are a bunch of pictures of some pretty tough-looking guys.

Apparently, some of our views have been earmarked as fringe, radical, evil, dangerous, derogatory, and/or insensitive. This is largely true. Some people appear to be turned off by the fact that we hate everything that moves. You should ease yourself into the acceptance of this by starting off with some of our articles or movie reviews. Pretty much all of the movie reviews get a 4 out of 4, and we haven't even seen all of the things we review, so if you ever try to quote us as a reliable source then Ric Flair will probably come blow up your house, maybe.

After you've read some of these and are ready to step up to a higher dosage, you might want to move on to the rants. You should start off with the safe ones: the rants about things that everybody hates:
-McDonald's
-People that tuck in T-shirts
-People that talk about how cool their computers are
-Fat people

And by the way, if you're a marketing major or marketing specialist you might want to stay away from a few of these and/or kill yourself.

If you've gotten this far, then you probably have a few questions. I'll try to answer the most common ones here:

"How did I ever live without knowing about this site?" Well, the answer to that is something very beautiful. It all starts when two people love each other very much...

"Who runs this site?" That's a good question and I'm sure it's in no way addressed by that link at the top of every single page that says "staff."

"Will you link to my site?" Click on the "links" section at the top. If your site isn't listed on there, then no.

"Can I link to you?" A better question would be, "Should I tell everyone about trainsaw.com?" The answer to both questions is "yes."

"What's the difference between your and you're?" Your is a possessive. For example, this is not your website. You're, on the other hand, is a contraction that means "you are." Example: You're an idiot. If you're a huge moron, though, you can just abbreviate either one as "ur" and save me the time of wondering just how incompetent you are.

That should pretty much cover things. If you're still not convinced, check out our Choose Your Own Adventure.

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