I really don't get it. I work at a bank, so there aren't always things to keep me and my co-workers busy. We have to wait for people to show up, naturally. But you'd think that after a few hours of having absolutely nothing to do, they might jump at the opportunity to actually do something. I know that doing work is a pain, but if you're already AT work, it's a lot more interesting to be doing something than to be, for example, trying to count the number of stones in the gravel driveway across the street from your bank.
So what I really don't get is why all of the people that work with me spend their whole day hitting F9. For those of you that don't know, that's the button on Outlook that gives you your new e-mail (it's also the same button you use to crash your workstation via Outlook). I'm not exactly against the concept of e-mail. After all, it can have some legitimate uses in a business. For example:
-You need to e-mail a client about something business-related.
-You need to e-mail a co-worker about something business-related.
-You need to respond to an earlier e-mail.
On the other hand, there are some other things that you can use e-mail for:
-Talking to one of the female tellers about her breasts.
-Talking to some of your co-workers about how drunk you were the other night.
-Talking to one of the female tellers about how her breasts were when she was drunk the other night.
Now here's where things get complex. Call me old-fashioned, but I think that when a customer (or client, if you want to sound all fancy) drives up or walks in, I think that you should stop your e-mail and give them what they want. After all, you can finish e-mails to co-workers later. However, let's assume, just for the sake of argument, that e-mailing co-workers is extremely important. In that case, your priorities would be the following:
1. Business-related e-mail
2. Business-related business
3. Breasts
Using this rationale, you would think that, should a co-worker be sending e-mails about breasts to a co-worker with breasts, who is currently busy having breasts, they would both be at priority level 3, which we will codename "Phoenix." Now, should a client walk in (priority Beta Carotene), they would drop all Phoenix operations and commence Beta Carotening. Apparently this is not the case, because I do all of the work all day long. Luckily I don't have twin phoenixes in my way to slow me down.
Now I realize that I'm not being paid to work, I'm being paid to stand there and be good looking (take a close look at all of the bank tellers you know and you will quickly see that this is true). Still, since they claim that I'm paid to work, it'd be nice if some of the other people with the same position tried to pick up the slack some of the time. You know, the slack work, not slack breasts, in case that's what you were thinking. If it weren't for things like "assault" and "getting arrested" then I think I'd reassess my job with some new priorities.
1. Turn off co-workers computers (operation Phoenix Rising)
2. Karate chop them. (operation Phoenix Tripping on a Cord on the Floor)
3. Turn off their computers and then karate chop them. (operation Spamtapper)
Due to the aforementioned inconveniences, I think I'm going to have to refrain and just turn the other way...you know, the way with all the work. Oh well, pretty soon robots will be doing our supposed job and I won't care because robots are awesome.
