Bad. BAD. You're lucky we're still paying you millions of dollars, because you don't deserve it.
Ever notice how there's one standard for normal people, and a completely different one for famous people? For example, 6'6" isn't that tall among basketball players. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a moral standard—how celebrities can punch people in the face and it's all okay. I hate that. We seem to worship famous people like they're famous or something. This has to come to an end like Milli Vanilli.
A few months back, a big fight broke out at an Indiana Pacers game between players and fans. I'm pretty sure it involved someone throwing a folding chair, and then one of the players ripping a fan's throat out with his teeth and howling at the moon. The next day, after careful deliberation, the NBA handed out its harshest punishment ever: a thumbs down. In a prepared statement, a spokesman for the NBA said: "We here at the NBA do not endorse the evisceration and slow consumption of fans by our players. We have no choice but to frown sternly upon all of the players who were involved, and to issue them a formal thumbs down. This may seem a bit draconian, but without upholding our rules and laws, we cannot hope to ensure order in our sport." When a reporter asked if criminal charges would be pressed against the players, Ron Artest leapt from concealment and beat that reporter to death with his own microphone. No further questions were raised.
Speaking of moral double-standards, I hear that O.J. Simpson's search for the real killer ended unfruitfully a few years ago, when he was found innocent. O.J. reportedly said "I now know that we may never find the real killer who buried a knife in my backyard and spread blood on my hands while I was sleeping quietly in my house and not out killing people." So true, so true.
The real problem with these standards, though, is the message we send to our kids. Our kids see these big stories in the news and they get one message loud and clear: it's okay to be famous. Be a good parent: let your kids know that it's NOT okay to be famous. If they still won't get that silly idea out of their heads, then pay a famous person a lot of money to beat it out of them, since you'd never be able to get away with it if you beat them yourself.
