It's 1:36 AM and some really cool guy just drove by honking his horn. Congratulations, your horn works. Congratulations, everyone hates you.
This guy obviously knows everything about being the coolest guy ever. On the scale of coolest people alive, this guy is currently being set on fire. I can hear him now: "Wow, this is the most amazing thing ever! If I push down on the middle of my steering wheel, it makes a loud and obnoxious noise. Maybe tomorrow I could drive around town holding this thing down. Wait, why do I have to wait until tomorrow?"
I suppose maybe I'm just not being sensitive. Maybe he has a deep need for everybody in a 3 block radius to hate him, and is fulfilling that need in the only way that he knows how. Then again, if that's the case, maybe he should be sensitive to my need to see him drawn and quartered.
I can only think of one thing right now that's cooler than this guy, and that's him crashing his car into a tree and busting his horn so that it won't stop honking while he lays there, paralyzed and with a busted spleen. Oh and I guess it would also be pretty cool if the paramedics showed up but decided not to do anything to help him since he won't lay off the horn and that really messes with their concentration.
