Every time I watch Jeopardy, I can't help but wonder how the people on the show qualified to be on Jeopardy. They always do such stupid stuff. I mean, have you ever been watching and see somebody wager less for a Daily Double than the
square was worth in the first place? That's kind of like making a large sign that says "I'm smart" and then attaching it to your forehead with a staple gun.
What is "a moron"?
Then there's the whole issue of the daily double. It's not daily...there are three of them each show, and they probably tape a couple episodes every day so that Alec can have his weekends free. And it's not like anybody ever actually
doubles their money. They just wager less than it was originally worth. It should be called the 1/12th of a daily chance to show your family and millions
of fans around the country how big of an idiot you are, and how much money you can get paid to question some stupid answers. And if you lose, don't feel
bad—you'll get some garlic tablets or something else really nice.
I bet that right when the show was coming out, everybody was really confused about the whole question/answer thing. You know the first couple contestants
were like "How am I supposed to figure out what question you're wanting to a certain answer?" They were expecting that Alan would say something like "Crude
Oil" and they have to come back with either "What is the most valuable commodity to be harvested from the ocean floor?" or "What is the name of the substance
popularly referred to as 'black gold'?" or "What should Rhode Island be covered in?" And since they're all correct, how do the judges decide?
I think it's just a completely bogus concept. Sure, he asks questions in the form of a statement, but it's not like those are legitimate question/answer
pairs if you reverse them. If somebody asks you "Who is Bill Clinton?" do you say "This former president was infamous for his domestic policy, especially his
stance regarding Cuban cigars."? No, you say "Hey retard, he was president for 8 years." Man, they should totally use answers like that in Jeopardy. Maybe
some other good ones like "Probably some guy who lived" or "I don't know."
The worst part, though, is the snotty host. He always pretends like he knew the answer all along (and by the answer, I mean the question), but he was probably
just some homeless dude on the street before they hired him to read things off of a teleprompter, act sympathetic, and condescend to idiots that don't wager
enough on a daily double. And anyway, what kind of name is Alice for a grown man? The only guy I know who can pull off being named Alice is definitely not a suit-wearing mustached question-reader. It's this guy:
