This article brought to you by Enclave Construction: building quality skyscrapers for more than 60 years.
I was watching TV the other night. That's right, television. I'm sure you can all see where this one's going: I still hate marketers. So we were watching poker on TV, and at one point they showed a scoreboard and I almost shoved a chopstick through my eye. You see, it wasn't just any old scoreboard—it was the Toyota Score Board.
What the crap? Okay, I can understand the concept of a car company wanting to advertise. Cars sell for a lot of money, and if you can get somebody to buy your cars, that's good for you. Naming a scoreboard after yourself, though, that has somewhat limited uses. I mean, I could understand if it had been McDonald's or Pepsi or something—even though it's complete B.S., the theory is that somebody will see it and the suggestion will make them want to go get some mechanically processed cow flesh. What's the point of doing that with a car, though? Like somebody is going to see your scoreboard and think "Man, a car would really hit the spot right now"? Or what, your little kid is going to start pulling on your sleeve saying "Ooh ooh can we go get a Toyota RIGHT RIGHT NOW?" If he does, I can think of at least 10 things you could do to remedy the situation.
I think that marketers are just too stupid to admit that occasionally spending more money isn't necessarily the solution to all the world's woes, and they're afraid that if they ever suggest that advertising money be put to use doing something more than showing cars rounding the corner of a mountain road, they'll be betrayed and assassinated by the Guild. Maybe one of them should grow a spine sometime, and then I could use it to lash all the rest of them to death. Face it: suggestive advertising doesn't work. All this talk about marketing has made me kind of hungry, though, so I think I'm going to go drive to McDonald's in one of my 7 Camries (the best-selling car in America) and get a Pepsi.
