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Last Update: 11.29.04

Let Freedom Ring (just long enough for ringing freedom to be outlawed forever)

Some jerk was talking to me the other day, whining about how Kerry lost the election and some crap about the "5th sign" and this 7-headed dragon that he saw crawling out of a lake. He was probably just dropping acid, stupid hippie. Anyway, then he said something that pissed me off so much that I chopped him in half with a Bible—that the Patriot Act is bad.

That's right, he doesn't like the Patriot Act. He said some crap about "egregious violation of human rights" and "euphemistically named" and "playing off the fears of the nation." He almost got a 4th catch phrase out before his liver hit the floor after getting sliced up by Ecclesiastes.

Anyway, I just have one thing to say to that guy: why do you hate freedom? I mean, come on—it's called "The Patriot Act." Are you saying you're not a patriot? Why do you hate America, man? How could anything called "The Patriot Act" be a bad thing? What an idiot.

As I was spreading the contents of his spleen all over my face like warpaint, he gurgled something about "restricting rights." Yeah, well if Patriotism means giving up rights, then I'll give them up any day, because I'm a Patriot, like Mel Gibson and Steven Seagal. We can all see that you're not—even your blood is red, you filthy commie. Anyway, to prove our intense patriotism to the rest of the world, we here at Trainsaw are taking active steps to surrender as many of our rights as we possibly can. That's why we've started a petition to repeal the first amendment. For those of you that don't know, the first amendment states the following:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

I don't know about you, but I don't really need any of that, especially that last one. And besides, if you can't trust Congress to be fair and protect the citizens of the country from tyranny, then what has the world come to? By placing all of these silly restrictions on them, we're just making their job that much more difficult. Anyway, if you're a real American then sign our petition to prove it.

# Name E-mail Comment
1. Jay If you truly value your freedom, you'll gladly turn it over to a tyrannical nation-state for safekeeping.
2. Nathan What's this thing you're making me sign?
3. Jesus Trainsaw rules
4. Nathan Holy crap Jesus signed our petition
5. Jay Jesus reads trainsaw?
6. __________ _____________________ _________________________________________
7. __________ _____________________ _________________________________________
8. __________ _____________________ _________________________________________
9. __________ _____________________ _________________________________________
10. __________ _____________________ _________________________________________


Update: not long after posting this, I realized that maybe it wasn't the best idea to [CONTENT REMOVED]

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