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Last Update: 11.18.03

Magnum PI? More like, Magnum Same Freakin' Guy


Have you ever been walking down the street and you see somebody that looks like somebody you know? It's not somebody you know, but they look almost exactly alike. And then when you ask them what their name is, they say something weird like "James" when you were expecting them to be named "Jim." And you're like "You look just like somebody I know but you guys have different names, it's weird." But then you just keep pressing the matter, insisting that it's actually your friend Jim and he's just pretending to be somebody else, but they claim that they're somebody else entirely, and they live in a different house, and drive a different car, and eat different cats for dinner. Despite all of this, you're not convinced so you tie him down to the table and start cutting off fingers, because you know that he has to know the location of Bravo team, and that if he would just tell you you would let him go. Then comes the awkward part though, because Jim walks in decked out in camo and holding a walkie talkie and he sees this dude tied to the table screaming bloody murder and with only one finger.

I hate it when that happens.

Sometimes, though, it's the exact opposite. Somebody pretends to be two people, such as retired army officer and something less conspicuous (like a Russian spy). I found one of these the other day, a guy that was pretending to be not one but TWO largely-ignored Hollywood has-beens. It was hard to notice because he had such a clever disguise, but I think you'll agree that these "two" are clearly the same freakin' guy.


Without disguise


With disguise


Nice try, but we can see through your charades.

I'm sure as technology advances this problem will only increase, especially when you're not sure whether you're actually talking to your friend, a robot that looks just like him, or his clone. You could have his clone and his robot duel to the death with laser swords on the rooftop of some huge building, though, that would be pretty cool.

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