School spirit is just like communism with different colors
Have you ever gone to a high school pep rally and felt like everybody around you was part of the Hitler Youth? Have you ever heard your neighbors jumping out the window when your college football team lost to your big rival? If so, then you're probably a person.
School spirit sucks. See, it's not an inherently bad concept, it just gets badly overdone. I'd like the school spirit if it were more like Casper the friendly ghost. Instead, it's like Poltergeist—throwing things around and into other objects, like, say, beer bottles into TV screens. When the school spirit starts making noise and destroying property is about where I call in the exorcist.
If schools were countries, March Madness would be more like Europe in 1944, only with more English, more drunk people, and a whole lot fewer trenches. About the same amount of screaming, though.
High school spirit is almost worse, though, because they can actually force you into the gym for pep rallies. On the bright side, if you go postal then you won't necessarily be tried as an adult, which isn't an option you have in college. Still, being cooped up in a room with no ventilation with hundreds of people chanting "Go big insert-school-color!" definitely doesn't go high on my list of enjoyable things. It lands somewhere between choking to death on scissors and being date-raped by an armadillo. On the bright side, though, you get to see the cheerleaders fall down trying to do their routine. If they don't fall down on their own, just throw a brick at them.
