Have you ever been driving in a parking lot and all of a sudden you back into a shopping cart that somebody left there? If you have, you're probably a blind old lady that shouldn't be driving. Those things are pretty big, if you can't see them then you definitely can't see children, and that's when we start having problems. But despite the fact that anybody that backs into shopping carts is incompetent, I hate it when people leave them there.
This is a diagram of a parking lot.
Note that the distance, X, is the maximum distance you could have to walk to put away a shopping cart (2X if you count the trip back to your car). Since you're lazy and parked in the handicapped space right next to the shopping cart holder even though you aren't handicapped, the distance for you is Y. We call Y the magnitude of displacement, which is the distance you would have to walk. The inverse of Y (1/Y) is called the "magnitude of laziness." This value is directly proportional to several others:
-The time, T, you spend driving around the parking lot looking for a really close spot so you don't have to walk.
-1/Z where Z is the distance to the store. This value is another magnitude of laziness.
The constant of proportionality, Q, we won't bother to define because you really wouldn't know what that meant anyway.
The next time you see a cart in the middle of the parking lot, why don't you give yourself some much-needed exercise and push it to the nearest oversized pickup truck and put it in the bed. Or better yet, if there's a giant SUV with a bike rack on the back, mount it to that. Even if they aren't the ones who left the cart out, I hate people who drive vehicles like that so they probably deserve it. Don't worry, though, having a shopping cart in the back of your truck is almost as cool as having your four wheeler back there.
If you keep leaving your carts out, though, just think of all the damage that could be caused. What if, because of the damage caused by rampant carts, stores got rid of them? You'd have to carry everything to your car the hard way, and since you're too lazy to put up your cart I know you'd be too lazy to carry things in bags. Since it's too much for you to carry all at once, you'd have to make a trip to the store almost every day, wasting hours of your time driving circles around the parking lot waiting for one of the handicapped spots to open up. The value of T would increase exponentially, and the fact that you don't know what exponentially means makes up for the fact that it's a lie.
You might still think that it's funny to leave your cart out, but believe me, it isn't. If you keep doing it, I'm going to replace all of the shopping carts with trained attack dogs. You'll be trying to buy your groceries, and you'll put them in your trained attack dog (mistake) and when he knocks you over and rips off your arms and he starts to eat your heart you'll wish that you knew the word for "stop" in German because that's the only thing he responds to.
