Tie dye is tied for being the stupidest thing on the planet
I was eating lunch today and I saw some guy in a tie dye shirt. Despite the fact that this guy looked like a complete moron, I'm fairly sure that he was, in fact, a complete moron.
The first thing that everybody should realize is that the only good thing to come out of the 70s was my sister. For those of you that are bad at logic that means that everything else that came out of the 70s (including tie dye, hippies, and the Bee Gees) was complete crap. Seriously—tie dye was just invented to mess with the hippies so they couldn't tell when they stopped tripping. But then when I tripped all the hippies, somehow tie dye didn't manage to go away.
Since I'm sure anybody else with at least enough mental facility to clap their hands hates tie dye too, here's what I propose: next time you see somebody wearing tie dye, find a tie and strangle that person with it until they die. This should solve the problem pretty quickly.
That being said, though, I must admit that tie dye does have one redeeming quality: a lot of them have sort of a circular pattern going on, which means they sort of vaguely resemble targets. The pattern isn't quite regular enough for you to use a gun, but it would work well for a less accurate projectile like a spear. So those of you looking to practice javelin-throwing have some volunteer targets. They're usually too stoned to dodge, anyway. Speaking of which, stoning them to death isn't a bad idea either.
