First of all, I don't even know what dignity means, but you're obviously lacking in it. When I see people who tuck their t-shirts in, it makes me ashamed to be a human. It's like I want to start being some sort of primitive being that is scared of vacuum cleaners and doesn't know how to use a toilet just so that I won't be placed into the same group as you when you generalize the fact that "we is the superior species, yo." It makes me want to bang my head against an anvil until I can get the ringing in my ears to be an A-flat. No self-respecting conscious person would ever tuck in a freaking t-shirt. I know it's a hard concept to grasp, but the T in t-shirt does not stand for "tucked."
The point of tucking in a shirt is to make it look nice. That's why tucking in t-shirts is stupid. They aren't dressy and they don't look nice. They're just casual. It's really easy to remember that: the T stands for casual. Hence, a casual shirt. Don't tuck it in. Tucking in a t-shirt is like tucking in a wifebeater. Note: don't be fooled by the fact that "wifebeater" has a t in it. That t does not stand for casual, it stands for trailer trash. T-shirt = casual. Wifebeater = trash.
So by tucking in your t-shirt, you're really accomplishing nothing except making yourself look like a moron. Great thinking. You're so smart you could probably run our country. You may now take this time to insert a really stupid and cliché joke about how our country's leaders are idiots. Although this may be true, it's only because everybody is a moron except for us and we're not running for office. So you're going to be stuck with bad government and stupid t-shirts for a while to come.
The next time your mom is dressing you before school or work, pause for a moment and look in the mirror. Look at how stupid you look. See how you look like you were dressed by a blind, one-armed midget accountant? Nobody that wants to look like that could possibly be a self-respecting human being. Your mom dressed you like that because mothers are clearly inhuman. If your mom doesn't dress you, then I'm afraid you don't have any excuse. If you willingly tuck in your t-shirts and you're under 50, then you may as well put on a magnetic suit and jump off of a cliff into a vat full of battle axes and radioactive waste (I can lend you those if you need help), because that's the best thing you could possibly ever do to further the human condition. If you're over 50, then nobody cares how you look and you should probably worry about not having a heart attack, especially if you're fat.
If you're still reading this and your t-shirt is still tucked in, untuck it already. Or better yet, take a good look at yourself in the mirror. If you decide that you don't look like a hairless autistic monkey that got set loose in a costume room, then fine...just leave it tucked in. Instead of untucking it, just bash your face against the mirror in a scene of such unimaginable horror that it could probably only be seen in a low-budget cheesy horror flick.
This is where the closing paragraph would go, but I'm sick of thinking about people with t-shirts tucked in. It makes me so mad I want to go order some Chinese food. Only in America...you don't see starving Ethiopian children walking around looking like tacky morons.
