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Last Update: 05.04.08

Top 10 Interview Tips

ROCKSTAR ENERGY DRINKS IS ROCKING THIS TOP 10 LIST STRAIGHT THROUGH THE INTERNET AND STRAIGHT THROUGH TO YOUR BRAIN!!!

Trainsaw is back bringing you more adrenaline-fueled, fist-pumping tips. This time, we’ve enlisted Rockstar Energy Drinks to help up provide the 10 best ways to score that high-paying, fast-paced, babe-magnet, job you’ve always wanted.

10. Display your dominance. Immediately upon your arrival, request a beverage—water is fine, but Rockstar Energy Drinks are best. Rockstar Energy Drinks are chock full of ~~caffeine and sugar~~ vital nutrients for juicing your way to the top. These vital nutrients will take your otherwise feeble nerves and turn them into reinforced steel. When the interviewer sees how amped you are about the job - he'll beg you to work for him. Another proven method of showing dominance: punch the first person that speaks to you when you enter the building (often this is a receptionist or security guard, don’t worry this is what they are trained for).

9. Be yourself. They want to know you are really like, so just show up wearing your Slayer shirt and be sure to put up your liberty spikes. Not only will they respect your audacity and honesty, but you’ll look like a complete badass (see Tip #1, Display your dominance).

8. Be honest. The interviewer will likely ask what your goals are for the next three to five years. Look him in eyes and say: “I want to put your job and your wife into overdrive.”

7. Keep the conversation around what you know. Topics such as: Rockstar Brand Energy Drinks, skydiving, explosions, and the most recent episode of “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody” are safe. For example, if the interviewer asks, “What are the top three traits you would want in a coworker?” you could answer: “This reminds me of a great episode of Zack and Cody where they get juiced from Rockstar Energy Drinks and go bungee jumping off Mount Kilimanjaro!”

6. Make a memorable impression. In other words, make a real entrance. Everyone knows the real Rock Stars show up to a party is 15 minutes late—you should too. It's also a scientific fact that if you can enter through a window rather than the front door, you're more likely to get the job. Memorable exits are important too; a common example is to stage an attack in the company lobby where a girl’s purse is stolen and you swoop in and rescue it.

5. When in doubt, drink. If you are asked a tough question, feel free to use your drink to buy some time. Just slowly shift your eyes back and forth and say, “I'm just going to take a quick drink of my Rockstar Energy Drink...” Then slowly reach for the drink, slowly lift the glass to your lips, and then slowly sip from the glass until the brilliant answer comes to you. If taking a sip of Rockstar Energy Drinks doesn’t provide the right answer, a David Lee Roth inspired kick should. If the answer still hasn’t come to you, feel free to request refills of your Rockstar Energy Drink before answering.

4. If there is no Rockstar Energy Drink at hand and the interviewer asks a tough question, look to these stock responses:
-Puke
-David Lee Roth inspired kick your future boss in the face
-Talk about the weird dream you had last night where some guy was interviewing you and didn’t give you the job and then died in a freak Rockstar Energy Drink sponsored car accident.

3. Show up in tatters. Apologize for looking so rugged and blame it on your Porsche convertible. Businessmen love expensive cars. Especially when involved in high octane Rockstar Energy Drink sponsored stunt driving.

2. Talk about that time you maxed out bench pressing 250 lbs., while simultaneously drinking a Rockstar Energy Drink. Even if you haven't done it, they'll be impressed.

1. Before the interview, stop by the local tattoo parlor and get the company’s logo permanently etched onto your body in a prominent location. Executives love commitment and tattoos scream commitment.